A Secret Romance
by Amelia McDermid
Summary: Gwen asks Jack a question that makes him remember an old lover from his early years at Torchwood. Jack/OC
1. A Mutual understanding

I originally wrote this for an LJ community but have decided to post it here. This story is based before Series one and even before modern torchwood. Basically it's based in Jack's early years at Torchwood.

This story is made up of two chapters.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood as it is owned by the BBC**

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**Chapter one**

**A mutual understanding**

"What was the most wonderful relationship you kept secret?" Gwen asked Jack, one evening after everyone else had gone. "And not because you wanted to but because you had to." Gwen added not wanting to know about Ianto and him.

"Alright Gwen Cooper, you've certainly making me think." Jack told her with a smile. "You might have to come back to me on that one."

Gwen nodded. "Ok night Jack." She said before leaving the office.

Jack waited until she was long gone before picking up the small box that he kept, full of old photos of past relationships and him dressed in various outfits from bygone eras. He smiled as he went through them until he stumbled upon the photo he was looking for. It was a photo of a young man with untidy brown hair that refused to be combed back, no matter how they tried soft blue eyes and wearing a black dinner suit. Even if the picture was taken in sepia, he knew that it was black because of the memories of the night it was taken. He closed his eyes as he remembered the day that he had met him.

It had been a Wednesday in the middle of June 1902 and Jack was sitting in a bar, having a celebratory drink after successfully catching another alien. He was on his own because he wanted to avoid another experiment back at the hub. He was about to down his second whisky when a young man caught his eye, just as he walking up to the bar. He looked about nineteen/twenty at the latest. Jack remembered feeling an instant attraction, just like everyone else he had met in the past.

"Would you like a drink?" Jack asked, causing the young man to look at him with soft blue eyes that made his heart skip a beat.

"Thank you, I'll have a scotch." He said turning to the barman, who nodded at Jack before pouring out his drink.

"I'm Captain Jack Harkness, by the way." Jack told him as the barman handed the young man his drink.

"James Worthington, are you like me then?" The young man asked sitting down on the stool next to Jack's. Jack gave him a curious glance. "From the old colonies."

"Oh yes, I'm American, if that's what you mean?" Jack asked with a smile.

James nodded. "Yes, just arrived from Australia, going to study at Oxford." He explained looking Jack over with those beautiful blue eyes.

"So what brings you here to Cardiff?" Jack asked puzzled as to why he wasn't in Oxford.

"I'm visiting family here, my mother's welsh."

Jack nodded and waited until the barman was out of earshot before bending over to whisper in James' ear.

"_Are you the type of man who would 'dance' with another man?" _

Jack was expecting him to say no because to him, James didn't seem the type because of the calm exterior that he processed. He was wrong when James whispered back.

"_It depends if you're offering?" _James said with a smile that showed seduction and mischief.

Jack nodded and led him out of the bar towards an old hotel near the bay.

* * *

That night he felt more alive as he felt the young man inside him, sending him to a state of ecstasy. James had never been with another man who was older than him as he had shown his nervousness when Jack led him to their room. Jack had offered to make him relax so he could feel more at ease but James had refused saying that he would be alright once he touched his lips.

He felt the young man's hands making their way down his hips before the sudden thrust that made Jack finally come. He heard James laugh as he fell over backwards on the bed.

"You, Harkness are an easy man to please." He said with a laugh.

"Well, I certainly love to 'dance'." Jack told him turning around to look at him. "Don't really get the chance to 'dance' with men nowadays."

"Because of the laws?" James had asked sitting up to kiss Jack's lips again.

"Well yes and because Wilde's trial has made it hard." Jack replied, kissing him back. "Men don't want to confess easily that they are..."

"Sorry I have to go." James interrupted, "My family would be wondering where I've got to."

Jack was disappointed as he watched James leave the room but it wasn't the last time that they would meet in this very room.

* * *

After that encounter, they kept in touch while James was at Oxford University studying politics and literature. Jack in his letters would use metaphors to express his feelings in case of peeping eyes were reading. James was the same in case Torchwood decided to read, which they would of course as they had nothing better to do but spy on their immortal workmate. During the term breaks they would spend days at the hotel until Jack had to go on another investigation. Jack loved the riskiness of their relationship and never once let slip it to anyone. He really had fallen in love with the man.

* * *

Jack smiled as he placed the photo aside and picked up another photo. This time it showed James standing up with a woman in an old fashioned wedding dress sitting down on a chair. He focused on it for awhile as memories of that day filled his head.

A few months before James had brought him the bad news that they had to end their relationship because he had fallen in love with a girl.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I just fell in love." He explained looking into Jack's eyes to prove he wasn't lying.

"I don't blame you." Jack told him before softly kissing him on the lips. "I'm happy for you."

"I'm thinking of marrying her." James confessed as they drew apart.

"Good for you." Jack said, holding him in his arms. James could sense that he was disappointed.

"Jack, believe me when I say that I love you too. Ok I've never said it because you're a man but I can't stay with you." James explained. "There's no future for us because of the laws."

Jack nodded but was a little shocked. "I never knew you felt that way."

"Well you do now."

"I will confess that I fell in love with you as well and I agree with you entirely."

James smiled. "Will you be my best man at my wedding?"

Jack was taken back. "Really? You want me to be your best man?"

"Of course, I consider you to be my best friend." James replied with a smile. "I don't really have many friends that I consider to be close."

Jack didn't know what to say as he never knew James had felt that way about him. That he was a friend as well as the man he loved.

"James Worthington I will be delighted to be your best man." Jack told him, causing James to smile a very beautiful smile.

A single tear ran down Jack's cheek as he placed the photo face down on the desk. He then spotted James' handwriting on the back that he had never noticed before when he had received the photo in the post. He picked it up to see what it said. He smiled when he read.

"If only it was you, Jack."

_TBC_


	2. A New Year's Eve Surprise

This is the second and last chapter of the story. Hope you have enjoyed it.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood as it is owned by the BBC**

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**Chapter Two**

**A New Year's Eve Surprise**

Jack turned the photo back over and softly kissed it before putting it down next to the picture of James in his dinner suit. He kept going through the photos that were still in the box. He remembered that James on occasion would send him photos of his family. As he could remember, they only had one child, a boy called Jack as he was nearly asked to be his godfather but the wife had refused on the grounds that Jack wasn't a catholic.

He stopped when he saw the photo of the two of them. It had been taken on the last night that they ever saw of each other before Jack had gone off to fight in the war later on in the year 1914. He remembered that James had just turned thirty one even though he hadn't celebrated with him at the time.

* * *

It was New Year's Eve 1913 and Jack had been invited to an old friend's party at a new dance hall which over looked the bay. The friend had also been a university mate of James' but Jack had gotten the feeling that he wouldn't be bumping into him. _But who knows_, he had thought to himself as he got dressed earlier that evening.

As Jack stood alone on the balcony with a glass of scotch in his hand overlooking the bay he couldn't help but feel lonely for the first time in ages. He had felt lonely before but not like this, the latest bouts of depression making him think darker thoughts including suicide which he knew would never be achieved. He was quite happy that he had a new boss in Gerald and some new team members but none of them could make him feel alive again. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, old mate how are you?" that familiar Australian accent asked him, making Jack looked up to see James Worthington standing next to him, looking slightly older with that untidy brown hair, soft blue eyes and wearing a very fine black evening suit.

"Fine, I see that married life has aged you." He replied with a grin, before kissing him softly on the forehead.

"While you Harkness haven't aged a day." James observed, checking out for people before kissing Jack softly on the lips. Jack leant up, leaving the scotch on the balustrade, and slowly put his arms around James, deepening the kiss as he did. James didn't flinch as he felt Jack's tongue in his mouth conquering it with ease. For the next few minutes Jack wasn't in Cardiff but a million miles away as he didn't want to let James go. A few minutes later they drew apart.

"Oh there you are!" A woman dressed in a blue evening gown, yelled from the entrance back to the top level of the dance hall. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

"Eliza, I thought you were happily talking with your friends, so I thought I would slip away for awhile to catch up with an old friend." James said walking over to her and taking her hand.

"I was, I just wanted to tell you something." Eliza explained which was a lie because she always wanted to know what James was up to. She had always suspected that she wasn't the only love in James' life

"You remember Jack don't you?" James asked her, leading her towards Jack who was now leaning on the balustrade with the scotch glass in his hand.

"Yes, of course he was your best man." Eliza replied looking at Jack with a smile. "So are you still the charming bachelor I met at our engagement?"

"Of course, my dear lady I haven't been able to strike it lucky yet." Jack replied with a smile. "Not like your James here."

"Oh you'll meet someone, Jack don't you worry." James said patting him on the back.

"I already have." Jack replied turning away to quickly gulp down his scotch. _And he's standing right behind me. _

Eliza looked up at James. "Well I'll leave you to it; you must have heaps to catch up on." She told him before turning to Jack. "Happy New Year, Jack." She said before walking off.

James watched her leave before turning back to Jack. "Sorry about that, she's always likes to know what I'm up to."

"Of course, she loves you and it's quite healthy." Jack told him, with his eyes still looking out over the bay.

"She suspects that she's not the only love in my life." James said, walking up beside him and leaning on the balustrade, with his eyes on the entrance of the dance hall. "You're still on my mind Jack, even when I'm with her."

Jack looked up at him but wasn't at all surprised, since James of course was in love with two people. Jack was only in love with one even though he had tried to move on with one night stands or 'dancing' to forget as he had called it. James would always come back into his mind when another letter would arrive in the post.

"Does she suspect a woman?" Jack asked finally, moving closer and slipping an arm around his back.

"No, she knows about my other interests but knows that I love her." James replied putting his head against Jack's shoulder. "I've been faithful to her."

Jack believed this as James had been faithful to him while they were together. Fully putting his arms around him, he kissed him lightly on the cheek. "There's no reason to stop now."

James pulled back and walked towards the entrance of the dance hall without looking or even saying a word to Jack. Jack kicked the bottom of the balcony in frustration, he knew that he had said the wrong thing to him. He wanted to feel those lips upon him, kissing his body and slowly sucking his cock. To feel him inside him, sending him into ecstasy was now just a dream.

* * *

As the night edged closer to midnight, all Jack could do was watch James talking to his wife and her friends from a distance. His mind drifted to erotic thoughts of James and him in that old hotel by the bay. It brought tears to his eyes but he had to dry them because of the other men around him. Men didn't show their emotion in public.

A few minutes later, he noticed James slip up the stairs while he saw Eliza walk off with her friends towards the main entrance. It surprised him so because normally couples would stay together on New Year's Eve so they could share a new year's kiss. He looked at his fob watch, only five minutes until midnight he read. He put down his drink and quickly ran up stairs to see where James had gotten to.

He found him where James had found him before, on the balcony, over looking the bay. He seemed to be looking around, like he had lost something. He could see the agitation as he was sidestepping back and forth.

"Looking for me?" Jack asked, causing James to turn around to see him leaning on the door frame.

James nodded. "Eliza decided to leave with her friends and there's only two minutes left until midnight. Who am I going to kiss now?"

Jack smiled as he walked up to James and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry that I said that to you earlier."

"Don't be, it brought me back to reality." James told him and he felt Jack's arms swarm around him. "Being in love with two people is hard."

Jack looked at the watch in his hand; it was now forty seconds until the year 1914. He didn't reply but just kept looking at the watch until....

"Happy New Year, mate." He said before pressing his lips against James' soft tender lips. The kiss quickly deepened as he felt James' tongue inside his mouth sending him further than he ever been. A minute later they drew apart.

"Happy New Year, Jack." James said with a smile, while holding Jack's hands in his own, rubbing them with his fingers. He looked deep into Jack's eyes before leaning over to whisper in his ear.

"_Will you 'dance' with me Jack?" _the question itself was a relief to Jack but then he started to think about Eliza.

"I thought you were being faithful?" Jack asked him, in a worried tone. James shrugged his shoulders and put his head down. He was silent for a few moments until Jack noticed a tear run down his cheek.

"Don't cry James, it's going to be alright." Jack said pulling him into an embrace. He felt tears on his shirt as James started to cry on his shoulder.

"_I just want to be with you." _James whispered through his tears.

Jack closed his eyes at those words. They seemed to sing to him causing him to form tears in his eyes, as he knew that James would end up all the others, dead while he lived on. He wished for a miracle but he knew that it would never be granted, not in a million years. Upon opening his eyes he pulled back from their embrace, cleaned James' eyes with his finger before leading him out of the party towards the old hotel.

* * *

As James shut the door to their room, Jack pinned him up against the wall and started to kiss him lips. His hands started to unbutton his jacket and shirt, taking care not to rip them. As the clothes fell to the floor, including his pants Jack's lips started to move towards his neck, causing a beautiful sound to escape James' lips. Feeling satisfied he turned James around against the wall and started to caress James' hips, bottom and thighs, causing him to shiver with delight. He started to play with the balls, teasing the cock as he did. He knew that any minute James would scream out for more or even to ask him to please 'dance' with him.

As he finally succumbed to thrusting his cock inside him, he didn't expect a huge scream of delight and pain to escape James' mouth. Thank god, there weren't many people in the hotel this fine New Year's Eve. For the next few minutes he closed his eyes to the pleasurable sounds and for the moment he forgot all about James' wife but focused on what was here now in front of him.

"Oh Jack, don't stop, please." James yelled out in pain and delight.

A few minutes later they finally came together and Jack withdrew before noticing the mess that he had created. He stood there, shocked as he watched the blood run down James' legs. He realised that James never 'danced' with another man since his marriage. He put a hand on James' shoulder.

"I'll be right back with a towel."

"What? What's wrong?" James began to ask before looking down to notice the blood dripping onto the carpet. "Damn, sorry Jack."

"Don't be, James it's not your fault." Jack assured him, walking over to the bathroom. He grabbed a towel from the rack and rinsed it over the sink. He walked back over to James with the towel and started to wash his legs before cleaning the inside of his bottom. The bleeding stopped about a minute later and Jack dragged James over to the bed, letting him have his turn.

* * *

Later that night as Jack lay there with a sleeping James in his arms; he could help but feel more alive than he did earlier that night. He knew though that it was going to be last time that they would be together. James would go home to his wife and spend the rest of his life with her. He was happy for him, he always had been. Earlier James had revealed to him that Eliza was finally pregnant with their first child, after a few years trying for one.

"So what are you going to name it, if it's a girl?" Jack asked him with a smile.

"Eliza's adamant that's it's going to be a boy." James revealed. "But she has suggested Rose or even Martha."

Jack smiled at the mention of Rose's name and images of that beautiful young blonde girl filled his mind. It also brought the painful memories of the Doctor and that promise that they would meet again someday.

"And if it's a boy?" Jack asked.

"Don't get offended but the only name we could think of was Jack." James replied. "Well I suggested it and Eliza agreed."

Jack was taken back. "Well sorry if it's my ego talking but hopefully it's a boy then."

James laughed before placing his lips on his neck.

Jack closed his eyes and held James close to him as they slept.

The next day Jack woke up to the sound of the door closing. It was early morning according to the fob watch that he had placed at the end of the bed. Getting up he grabbed his clothes from the floor and got dressed. A few minutes later he left the room and walked down to the bay. He found James looking out over the bay on the pier near the pub. He was dressed in his evening suit.

"Thought you would leave without saying goodbye?" Jack asked, stopping behind him

"No, I wanted to go for an early morning walk before you woke up." James replied turning to face him. His blue eyes inviting him to come closer.

Jack pulled him into an embrace and they stayed in each other's arms until...

"So this is goodbye then?" James asked.

Jack nodded. "I think it's best for most of us." He replied as tears started to form in his eyes.

James kissed him one last time on the lips before walking off back towards the life that Jack wanted him to live.

* * *

Jack sighed as he placed the photos back into the box. James had been one of a few relationships in his life that had meant something. He placed the box back into his drawer before standing up from his desk. Grabbing his coat from the stand, he left the office and made his way across the city to Ianto's flat.

* * *

A few days later he took Gwen to the local cemetery, telling her that he finally had an answer for her. He had told her his name but had withdrawn the year as he wanted to show her why he had to keep it a secret. As they walked towards the grave, he felt a bit nervous as it had been awhile since he had visited it. The last time had been a week after his funeral in 1920; James had grown sick after the birth of his son Jack but it didn't get worse until Jack was five years old. In the end the doctors didn't know what was wrong with him and he had died without any treatment. The son had grown up without a father and ended up fighting for the British in WW2.

"I thought you said he was married?" Gwen asked when she spotted that James' name was the only name on the gravestone.

"He was but he asked to be buried alone." Jack explained with a small smile. "His wishes were that Eliza be buried with her family back in London."

Gwen nodded and noticed the year that James had been born.

"So that's why you had to keep it a secret!" Gwen said, looking back at Jack.

Jack nodded. "And he was worth it."

_Please remember to review_


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